April 1, 2010

Random Rhetorical Questions About Easter Candy

If sticky, sugary Peeps are so good, why are the grocery store shelves filled with them in every color three nights before Easter?

And sugar-free Peeps? Who wants to eat sugar-free Peeps?

Isn't the point of Peeps to stuff oneself with marshmellowy sugary goodness?

And why are there no good hollow chocolate bunnies like when I was a kid?

Why are there no bunnies named Horace Hippity-Hoppity with hard yellow candy eyes and too much paraffin in the chocolate?

Who wants Russell Stover? Who wants a chocolate bunny that tastes like Rice Krispie treats?

And what about jelly beans? What happened to the good old Brach's jelly beans? Damn Ronald Reagan and his Jelly Bellies.
Harumpf. I'm not putting any milk and cookies out Saturday night for the Easter bunny.