Constitutional Convention, wikipedia commons photo
Today the air is thick and crunchy and my car and yard are covered with a fine dusting of dirt left over from the “new driveway” project. If you didn’t catch it on Reality TV, the Spitzsnogels put in a new driveway, as their old one resembled Stonehenge. Avoiding those Neolithic and Bronze Age stone monuments when revving my old Honda up an icy hill in January made for a death-defying and revitalizing experience.
. The new driveway is not yet “cured” (a term that should be applied to old alcoholics or large bunions) so we are forced to park down the hill, down the street. As if the neighbors weren’t antagonized enough by eight days of large, loud equipment rumbling at six a.m., now we are parking dusty, dirt-covered vehicles in front of their houses.
I set the stage to tell you that today I am annoyed with the world, damn sick of the heat, and ready to rumble. Rather than cause an altercation in my household, I think I will vent out my frustrations with the things that are bothering me, large and small.
People who call me on their cell phones and then carry on conversations with other people in the car, drive-up employees, and people on the street. The message to me is “You are so unimportant to me and any shiny object that even distracts me for one second is more important than you.”
And, hey, you called me!
A related crime is always answering when the “call waiting” kicks in. Discussing this at lunch with two friends, one friend said her sister used to do this. My friend was annoyed because it was usually her sister’s daughter who lived footsteps away, while my friend lived states away. So, my friend simply hung up on her sister. That fixed that.
But here’s the problem I have a sweet marshmallow center and doormat chest which makes saying no or standing up for myself nearly impossible. Rather I tend to act out by writing passive aggressive pieces like this. I don’t get my feelings hurt often, but things like this have a tendency to build up, and when it is this hot I feel like I’m gonna blow. It won’t be pretty.
Commercials for inane products. The talking diabetes meter is really bothering me. My husband is diabetic so I’m familiar with meters, and also familiar with the concept of re-inventing the meter every month so that insurance companies can pay for the latest and greatest. I supposed this is for people who are blind. I suggested to my husband that he should get a meter that said, “Hey, Lardo, why are you putting that chocolate milk in your mouth?” He was not amused by my heat-indexed snarky sarcastic attitude.
And while we’re on the subject of inane products, I saw an ad for something that will allow you to lift two thousand pounds, slide something underneath it, and then move that grand piano all over your house. Yes, I took physics in college and the concept of levers and fulcrums is familiar to me, but I just don’t buy it. Aunt Tillie is not going to move her cabinet full of priceless antique china across Uncle Selim’s Turkish rug. Ain’t gonna happen.
Borders going out of business. This just makes me sad and cranky. If I had a high-powered Nerf toy, I would find a bell tower somewhere and aim my Nerf balls at whoever is to blame. Since I have no one to blame, let’s pick someone. How about all those idiots in our nation’s capitol who can’t put their own interest aside to raise the debt ceiling?
And speaking of those idiots….when the US Constitution was signed on September 17, 1787 in Independence Hall, Philadelphia, CNN did not cover it. Surprised? Fox News didn’t show nor did MSNBC. Joe and Mika in the morning missed it, as did Hannity and Glenn Beck. Okay, I’m being ridiculous (but my brain is fried, its 105 heat index here) but my point is that our Founding Fathers made it a point to exclude media from the discussions in the room. What a great idea! I don’t want to see Luke Russert endlessly analyzing why Robert Morris left the proceedings early. Capicé?
One more and then mercifully I’m done, for now…our cable company is forcing us to add digital adapters to televisions that aren’t digital ready. What was all that digital conversion business about a year or so ago? Now we have to pay $1.99 a month for each converter. The cable companies’ hype is so that we can have more channels. I have 900 channels now; most of them are fly-fishing, sales of face masks and chemical peels, or old NBA games. Enough!
You may leave now.