On the flip side of fifty, I'm experiencing literal downward slope of what was formerly perky and positively uplifting.
I’ve battled weight since my twenties. Drinking beer with my pals at the Chug-O-Mug on Tuesdays (and Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays) in college was the origin of the Michelin rubber around my middle.
My friend Droopy has also battled this and is currently winning. She’s lost about forty pounds and is a superb example for any woman. She is also very supportive of my struggles against weight. She also makes me laugh and helps me not take myself too seriously.
When I complained yesterday about my shifting sands, she sent me this e-mail.
**I may be getting thinner, ever so slowly, but I am also getting older. So here's the stupid annoying problem—gravity has moved faster than weight loss.
My boobs are now my waist. I have a rain gutter where my stomach has shifted down; the tops of my hips are now saddlebags on the tops of my thighs. And all my pants seem to bag there and I'm back to looking like I am wearing jodhpurs. Tally Ho! Droopy **
Never being the “Cover Girl” type, I am fascinated by women, my close and not-so-close friends as they also do battle with gravity.
Perhaps I’m dreadfully insecure, but I need the interaction and positive support of friends. And I try to give it in return.
Droopy has been in my corner all of my life and particularly in this battle with weight.
Not so much some other friends.
Yesterday I had shared pictures from a recent family event with a friend who said, “Too bad you can’t see the weight loss in your face.”
Yeah, that’s a keeper.
I like that as well as the old “For a fat girl, you don’t sweat much.”
Another comment came from two other friends who are also struggling with this postmenopausal dance with fat cells.
"It is much easier for you to lose weight because you've never dieted before."
Here's what I heard, "You are so fat that this is just a picnic for you and you are losing weight with no effort whatsoever while I struggle day after day."
I heard this from two people who have been dieting for as long as I’ve known them.
Damn! What a strategy. Perhaps you, too, would like the secret of my success and my plan.
Here's what you do:
Get about 75 pounds overweight by whatever means you can. Perhaps have a kid or two and say, "I'll lose the baby weight later." Or maybe just stay sedentary. Eat a lot of sugar. Oh, let a high heel slip out from under you at an O'Charley's lobby so your tubby self falls on your left knee which will become terribly arthritis.
Then WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA’AM.
Eat less than you did before and you will magically lose weight. (I know, I know, thank you very much. Happy to help.)
Thank God for Droopy. She’s got my back (as large and defined as it is.)